Dating advice for the single again
Clients come to me with these limiting ideas about dating, love and men, and it’s my job to help them turn things around.
Working with me, women transform the lies to create opportunities. I hope reviewing these lies opened your mind to new ways of looking at dating over 40.
The right person will come at the right time and for the right reasons. I have “rescued” a friend from a bad date, recently, and while wearing my “Spiritual Gangster” tank top. I personally have zero problem calling it when I see it (politely of course), but it’s taken me some solid practice to learn the art of the graceful exit.
Being overly responsive or attentive is a bad plan; the idea of “the chase” isn’t meant to be you cyberstalking and checking in every hour. Some things to remember: 1) take a cab if you can, use a ride sharing app if you really want to do it right, so you can “call” them slyly from under the table and then suddenly “voila!
Just as you respond to things based on what’s going on in your life and in your head, so do other people. Additionally, credentials are just paper—a job, a degree, or a “pedigree,” so to speak, is only one small part of a person, it is not they are. Unless you: a) have endless time on your hands, b) like spending it running in circuitous motion, or, more likely, c) enjoy learning lessons the hard way, listen to your intuition. If something tells you it’s not right, it’s probably not.
Slow your roll, dial it back about 1,000 notches and stop reading into every teeny tiny little everything. Sadly, there is no sarcasm font, and emoticons will only get you so far in nonverbal response.
This shouldn’t be difficult, it should be easy to be the best version of yourself around people with whom you spend time. There is a time and place for viewing the skeletons in your closet and unpacking your baggage. Your past has shaped who you are, it has shifted your paradigm and your perspective, but it is neither your present nor your future.Once I found love, I dedicated my life to helping single women over 40 make that dream come true for them as well.Since I found love, and many of my clients have too, I know you can do it! If you feel compelled to present yourself as something other than who you truly are, to have interests that you don’t really have, to know things you don’t really know then you are in trouble, my dear. Be willing to grow and learn and try new things—but label them clearly as such. Don’t spend your time trying to make something work that you know isn’t going to; things that are meant to be aren’t usually that complicated (well, unless you make them that way, in which case, please re-read #2). You are who you are and that’s the end of the story sister. A degree does not equate intelligence, nor does the lack of one indicate the opposite. Know the difference between simply being uneasy because you are getting out of your comfort zone and what is legitimately no bueno para ti.